This is very funny... and by that I mean, when you read it you will laugh, because it is funny.

Some of you may read Jonah Goldberg from the National Review Online. If not, regardless of your political ideology, it's worth the read. If for nothing else, he faithfully utlizes Simpons quotes into most of his pieces. Well, anyway, Jonah wrote the following gem regarding Harry Ried and something he said recently which I thought was hysterical:

"In Washington, soft-spokenness is often confused for intelligence and subtlety. We're so accustomed to shouting that when someone whispers we assume there must be something more thoughtful in the offing. A case in point is Harry Reid, the Senate minority leader. Just the other day he told reporters, "There's a dark cloud hanging over the White House." Then, to clarify this obscure metaphor, he added gravely, "It's really a storm cloud."

One expects more Solomonic nuance from the man any day now: "Something's fishy in the White House. And by that I mean the White House really smells much like a fish. An old fish. The sort of fish that smells bad." Or: "Look before you leap — because that way you'll know what you're leaping over and might not fall.""

LOL - I think that's great... and why isn't Yogi Berra a US Senator?! So, I got to thinking, what other obvious metaphors or cliches can I come up with that are just as funny with unnecessary descriptions added? Well, there's always the one all sports stars use, "We're just gonna take it one game at a time." Yes, and by that, I mean, we're not going to look ahead to future games. We're going to focus just on this one. Just this one game. You dig?

Then there's thanking Jesus for everything. "We couldn't have pulled this one off if it weren't for Jesus," I mean, if it weren't for Jesus, we wouldn't have won. Jesus was just pulling for us, and was opposed to the other team winning. God and Jesus both hate the other team. You dig?

I was listening to one of the financial podcasts this morning and they were talking about "Black Friday," after Thanksgiving, the biggest shopping day of the year. If shoppers don't come out, apparently it's a black day for the economy. So anyway, the added description could go something like this: "Retailers are dreading Black Friday, which is coming this week. If shoppers don't come out, it'll be a black day for them. It means consumers aren't spending and the day will be black - black like a lump of coal Santa leaves in your stocking if you're bad. The retailers aren't bad people, but they're getting a big black lump of coal from Santa this year on Black Friday. A big, black, lump of coal - which is worthless to them - cause they don't even have a coal burning furnace, so it's twice as bad."

I think I could write these all day! Please feel free to add your own gems!