This is very funny... and by that I mean, when you read it you will laugh, because it is funny.

Some of you may read Jonah Goldberg from the National Review Online. If not, regardless of your political ideology, it's worth the read. If for nothing else, he faithfully utlizes Simpons quotes into most of his pieces. Well, anyway, Jonah wrote the following gem regarding Harry Ried and something he said recently which I thought was hysterical:

"In Washington, soft-spokenness is often confused for intelligence and subtlety. We're so accustomed to shouting that when someone whispers we assume there must be something more thoughtful in the offing. A case in point is Harry Reid, the Senate minority leader. Just the other day he told reporters, "There's a dark cloud hanging over the White House." Then, to clarify this obscure metaphor, he added gravely, "It's really a storm cloud."

One expects more Solomonic nuance from the man any day now: "Something's fishy in the White House. And by that I mean the White House really smells much like a fish. An old fish. The sort of fish that smells bad." Or: "Look before you leap — because that way you'll know what you're leaping over and might not fall.""

LOL - I think that's great... and why isn't Yogi Berra a US Senator?! So, I got to thinking, what other obvious metaphors or cliches can I come up with that are just as funny with unnecessary descriptions added? Well, there's always the one all sports stars use, "We're just gonna take it one game at a time." Yes, and by that, I mean, we're not going to look ahead to future games. We're going to focus just on this one. Just this one game. You dig?

Then there's thanking Jesus for everything. "We couldn't have pulled this one off if it weren't for Jesus," I mean, if it weren't for Jesus, we wouldn't have won. Jesus was just pulling for us, and was opposed to the other team winning. God and Jesus both hate the other team. You dig?

I was listening to one of the financial podcasts this morning and they were talking about "Black Friday," after Thanksgiving, the biggest shopping day of the year. If shoppers don't come out, apparently it's a black day for the economy. So anyway, the added description could go something like this: "Retailers are dreading Black Friday, which is coming this week. If shoppers don't come out, it'll be a black day for them. It means consumers aren't spending and the day will be black - black like a lump of coal Santa leaves in your stocking if you're bad. The retailers aren't bad people, but they're getting a big black lump of coal from Santa this year on Black Friday. A big, black, lump of coal - which is worthless to them - cause they don't even have a coal burning furnace, so it's twice as bad."

I think I could write these all day! Please feel free to add your own gems!

Time for a LIVE post!

Well, it's live while I write it, but it'll be long dead when I'm done. I'm sitting here at the Old Toad being a total nerd. I could just be drinking my Blackbird Oatmeal Stout, however I feel it's necessary to bring the computer along just in case. In case of what? Hmmm.... in case I actually need to interact with real people, rather than just AOL Instant Messenger people. What makes this especially nerdy is that Jason Childers is sitting next to me playing on his computer!

I've discovered a great game recently - on Yahoo games - Literati! OK, it's just scrabble without the license, but it's a great game. It makes me realize how lousy a scrabble player I am. Now, I'm not terrible, but I never know all those two letter words that fit in between other words so I can count like, oh, three words at the same time for 40 or 50 points. But it's still a lot of fun and my vocabulary is at least good enough to compete at if not a high level, a fairly high one. For some reason, I have never been a big fan of Yahoo. I've never used it as a search engine, and the only time I do use it is occasionally on Yahoo Messenger to talk to Julie who refuses to get an account on AIM. Granted, all our friends are on AIM, but whatever.... she uses my computer all the time anyway while I'm logged in, so for whatever it's worth.

Well, that's enough for now... maybe I'll write again when the quiz is over. Cheers!